Yeah, yeah

So, I've been thinking. I know it's a lot of posts for one day, but I wanted to get this down even if it is overly self-indulgent. (that IS a warning, squeamish readers)
So I've been doing a lot of manual labour (too much time to think) and been listening to this tape of "New Dimensions" from like 1995 that I found in the basement that talks about Myth and 'following your bliss' and shit like that. Anyway so this guy read a poem " I am the rest between two notes" and talked about how human existence was like this because we are always searching and never finding answers, stuck between the question and answer, and when something IS answered (which rarely happens) it is answered with another question. And then I was reading about meditation and cyclic existence and suffering, and thinking about what I consider the inherent pain in life-- the pain that surfaces whenever you think about and consider something deeply-- perhaps being the pain of that cyclic existence (inevitable death/end etc) and how that is coupled with pleasure, since the fear of the end of something is proportional with the pleasure of that experience. For example, if, while eating the world's last peach, I pause and consider how delicious it is, I might start crying, because it is so tasty and it will soon be gone. So everything pleasurable is unpleasurable because of our desire for pleasure and the reality of it's eventual end, and we are left at any given moment as the rest between those two notes.
So the Buddhists would say we should just up and stop desiring things and all this will stop. Well, that's not so easy. And I'm sure that's not all there is to it. But at the very least that's probably not a very realistic goal for most of us. "stop liking peaches, dammit!" "uh, what?" "realize the pain they are causing you and stop liking them" "but they are so tasty."
yeah ok, I'm going to stop now.

ohm ah hum / om a ng