Hair bands

there is a reason they call them that.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Image:Europe_the_band_1986.jpg
I made this radio station on Pandora based on 'the WAND' by Flaming lips and it turns out to be a mix of new bands along the lines of Hot Chip, Apostle of Hustle, and The Webb Brothers--- with comically bad 80s rock. Not sure where the latter is coming from, but it is indeed hilarious punctuation for all the emo stuff.

in other news, I had a dream last night that I was in Paris, talking to a store/brasserie owner as they were closing, and he was letting me sample all these fancy cheeses. He had taken a liking to me and gave me a bunch of samples to take with me "I don't do this for everybody, you know" he said, I was pleased.
Later, I was working prep for an attractive english TA of mine (I think he was supposed to be my ENWR guy but def. was not him...) who I had learned that in addition to liking soccer, worked as a professional chef for a time, and other amazingly-attractive-to-me things. I was sidling up to him at the stainless sinks, watching him peel vegetables under running water... needles to say, in the parlance of Karine, I was totally about to cream my pants. (maybe I will change that later, but it sounded hilariously appropriate just now.) Anyway, in the dream, someone walked up to us, interrupting the close moment; while in real life I woke up as I 'rolled over' to see who it was.
Sigh, all good things come to an end.

I am sick of trying to come up with witty titles.

So I will fill in yesterday's gap. I had a shitty day during which it took me forever to get out of the house, and then my car broke down on the way to the mall. I got it fixed an it's back in the driveway now.
The neighbors are putting their dog down tonight, which is really overdue, poor thing has been in pain and such for a while. They are very sad, I think I'll make some brownies and take them over later.
They're going to bury Lori in the back yard using our tractor. Apparently it wouldn't start so grandma just went over to help. It will be nice for my cousin to be able to visit her.
I went shopping for like ever yesterday, getting a wardrobe together. I did find some nice stuff. I am beginning to get worried though because I haven't heard from my future employer at all yet, no papers to sign and no email as was promised... this of course allows the paranoid part of me to run wild. Plus the event in NOVA that I thought was this week is actually at the end of September, silly me. I still think I might head up that way though Nithya will not be around until next weekend, because I may need those days to prepare, although how I don't know. I did some research for mental health case management and might go back and use the 'ol college library to read up and hopefully make myself less nervous.
OK this is boring even me right now. I hope to have some weekend plans solidified soon, I will see about staying with my cousins up there, and maybe with LE or Katherine. I guess that means 'more later'.

Moving on

So, time to get down to business. Tomorrow I shop massive one-day-only sales for work clothes, shoes, jewelry. I await important paperwork to sign regarding acceptance of my position. It smells like popcorn in my room right now, for some unknown reason. I am planning to get all my requisite job stuff out of the way, find some good reading materials on Case Management and what the hell I'm going to be doing so I'm not so scared, deep deep in my bones, and then cut loose on the surrounding area for a week or so, sunning and reading said materials. Time to get in my kicks while I can, says me. If you're available, chances are I'll be able to fit you in my itinerary.
School-time disorientation is starting to hit, along with the realization that I will be preforming actual, complicated and challenging work again... Like back in High School or in my full-time waitressing days. Things I remember from the times of constant toil: being tired, really tired; potential for burnout; and the fact that I never WAS doing any of those things for more than 9 months at a stretch. (and yes it really was nine months at a stretch with hardly any vacation... April & those of you who were in HS with me can vouch for that.)
Last night I had a dream where I went on an arduous trek across a dangerous and varied foreign land-- with a kitten and a cat. At one point the kitten looked exhausted and I realized 'omg it's so small, I bet it still needs it's mother's milk!' who was of course not around. So I found the lid of what was formerly a jug of milk, with a teaspoon or so left in it, and fed the kitten who lapped it up ravenously. I hoped and thought it would be just enough to get us to the next outpost where I would be able to get her some more of her proper food. Then I woke up to blaring classical music radio.
Exciting, I know.

isn't it strange how something (or someone) that was once so familiar, so comforting, that made you happy, that was so ingrained into your life you didn't even have to try to think about it, can get lost, and then one day you just turn around, and it's completely foreign to you...

I would be completely happy right now, back in College, going to the BBQ before the first home game, then spending the rest of the day visiting, listening to music, and working in my pajamas.

If all goes well

I will accept that job tomorrow, and start sometime in the not-too-close, not-too-distant future. I'm getting nervous. I hear they start you out slow though, so I'm looking forward to learning.
Hope nothing falls through, though I can't imagine what would.

Oh, My.

I never *did* like this guy...
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/south_asia/6961603.stm
or his movies. good riddance.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAA!!!!!

TWO JOB OFFERS IN ONE DAY, TAKE THAT ESTABLISHMENT!!!
So apparently my wonderful references came through, and my jovial countenance has won over the masses!!!
OK, maybe not the second part, but YES!!!! I am still letting it sink in, I just spoke to her on the phone ten minutes ago. I didn't say yes to the job I want yet (a case manager for individuals with severe mental illness) but I fully expect to soon, latest Monday. Pay of 13~~/hr isn't awesomest ever, but I would be living with the 'rents... and able to save for both college and India excursions. Plus, it's nine to five, M-F... unlike the other job I was offered (rotating schedule, nights and weekends, 8~~/hr).
Anyway, the pay for this job I want is apparently the highest of any I've applied to~ I *could* even move out if I wanted, which I don't really... better to stay til things get soured and then fly the coop, having saved a shitload along the way.
Ok I think I'm getting repetitive, and my level of nervous excited energy can only be quelled by that oft-dreaded task, room cleaning. I might even vaccum!
As if to cap off the relief I feel, a thunderstorm is brewing. Yay!

Thanks guys!

My interview went really well. I hope my references and such come through for me.
Since things are looking relatively up, I decided to reward myself and stopped by the library to check out "Kitchen Confidential". It's deliciously irreverent and I've laughed out loud multiple times. It started a little slow but it definitely picked up - I'm now at the point where he's catering parties packed with cocaine and rich coastal barons. Exciting stuff.
Well, just an hour ago I was packed with anticipation, and now I don't have nearly as much to say as I thought I did. Tomorrow night I'll be fixing dinner- a big New Mexican one. Looking forward to all aspects, including prep. Generally feeling upbeat about life and stuff.
About college starting up... yeah I'm rather in shock about it all still. I feel replaced, but not only that, I feel betrayed by some kind of post-collegiate myth of premature affluence, parties, and a date-swapping social life. I mean, I'm bored. And I don't even really know how to begin to emotionally/consciously address the loss of the one constant in my life so far: school. So I guess I won't push it.
one last note i suppose,
tonight: christiane amanpour and the relatively exploitative (but seemingly improving as it goes on) series 'God's Warriors" has a two hour segment on 'Christian Warriors', which should prove interesting. Jewish segment was old news to me, I learned a significant amount last night on 'Muslim Warriors', so we'll see how this one stacks up.
I've also rediscovered the joys of Stewart and Colbert. And it was a good time to rediscover, since last nights (read today's reruns) guests were O'Bama and the Virgin Atlantic guy, respectively. There is also a new 'actually in Iraq' segment on the daily show that is good, and I thouroughly enjoyed another installment of the long-missed (by me) "formidable opponent". Truly, "he's a dashing man his name is Stephen".

Preparing

for a day of preparing for an interview. Hoping things go well, both on the prep front tomorrow and in the interview Thurs.
In the meantime, trying to relax. Have the place to myself, and except for taking care of the neighbor's dog, have no set schedule.
Ah, well I also have a stressful call to make to HR (probably hearing whether or not I got another position; and that possibly indicating the quality of my references...) but that likely won't require any kind of effort on my part beyond listening to what's said and replying with a nebulous 'well I'd like some time to consider the offer" or "ah, well I'm sorry things didn't work out but I hope to be in touch sometime soon regarding another position" etc. So hopefully that will be ok.
After this next interview I am going to take some time off to regroup, esp. since there aren't any advertised jobs I'm interested in currently.
Regarding rejection, I always remembered what my high school poetry/english teacher told me. He said that when he was trying to get his first book published, it was the three foot high stack of rejection letters that kept him going.
And compared to his timetable, I'm doing OK-- three years versus three months doesn't seem too bad. I am to the point though where I don't want to work again. But this is the kind of thing I could get excited about, so I'll find the spark again before Thursday, I think.
OK< OK! enough .
time for some midnight meditation.

update

So, I got a call and I didn't get the job I was hoping for, but I was invited back for another interview for a similar position with the same organization. It's a 'relaxed' panel format, whatever the heck relaxed interviewing (with a bunch of future co-workers picking your brain) is. Anyway, I've resolved to try to be positive about it, and I know and like at least the one woman who invited me back, so hopefully things will go smoothly. I'll also be able to better prepare for this, since I have already applied for and gone through the final interview for an extremely similar position. (Basically I will have to pull out the DSM and research common medications and side effects. And everyone in college thought I was being unnecessarily weird when I brought out the DSM IV TR for some 'light reading', turns out it WAS good for me. Kindof. Indirectly after the fact.)
Anyway, now I have something to ruminate about for the next couple days. Plus one of my cousins is going to be staying at the house tomorrow, and he's apparently turning into a wannabe longhaired vegetarian... Much to his parents' chagrin. I think we used to call that a "hippie" back in the day, though I'm not sure he would appreciate the full set of cultural implications.
Hope things are going elsewhere in the world. Thinking about those poor souls in Peru and Yucatan. Tragedy bears down upon us incessantly. Life is damage control.

"The trick is not minding it hurts"

Just finished Lawrence of Arabia, which is great, as it has been each time I've seen it~ going to write a lot of letters tomorrow.
Had pavlova and bakery sweets for respective dinner dessert and the always rare lunch dessert. An altogether relaxing day.

Undisclosed location:

The theme of my next non-party. Of course Inspired by Karl Rove's departure, and the impending departure of Tony Snow and then the entire administration.
Yeah, I know Cheney is the one who's always hiding, but the way I figure it, Rove & co have so many democratic hitmen after them, after 2008, they'll be permanently unavailable.
Of course, the main feature of this party would be it's non-location. We'd first gather at someone's disclosed location, and then determine an 'alternate, undisclosed location' and immediately move there without telling anyone. Preferably in large, black, unmarked SUVs.
I was thinking the participants could make up a list of possibilities, and then go through them enie-menie-mo style while watching, say, CNN, and when a member of the administration comes on, we'll stop and go to that 'undisclosed' location. Which of course would involve the shredding/burning of that document.
Activities might include (but are not limited to):
-shooting caged animals but still missing horribly (aka darts)
-evil laughter
-pretend perjury
-leaking classified information (aka gossiping)
-reinstating 'line item veto' powers (MASH)
-avoiding press conferences (selecting one party member as the 'press secretary' who would communicate with all other people who (annoyingly) might have to know some stuff, ie waiters, bartenders, etc-- under only the direst of circumstances would anyone else speak to an outsider.)
-and a drinking game that would relate to the liberal media.
And somebody would get to play 'Bush' and DD all the soused staff. They would have the added perk of getting to say any bushisms they wanted though, without censor. ie strategery, newclear, etc.

Anyone have more ideas?

Yay

so, a two hour drive and a glass of wine later, I feel much better. Interviews went OK, no major F-ups but not great either. I need to work on not being so (apparently visibly) nervous. Doesn't help that I'm all PMS-ey either, I don't think.
Anyway, off to wach lawrence of arabia.
luvyas.

tired two-fer

So, I have two interviews tomorrow. I realized earlier today that I just do not want to do them! I have to drive a lot for them too, they are on opposite sides of the city. In total, I will be spending 8:30-4 or so driving and interviewing. Yuk. And I am too wired/unprepared to sleep right now. On top of it, it's been calm and clear out all day, but beginning with a huge gust of wind out of nowhere, it appears to be thunderstorming somewhere very close.
Anyway, once I admitted how much I just didn't want to go, but really do have to and will, I felt a bit better. Mainly because that allowed me to consider that it will all be over tomorrow evening. And what better to wash down a day of humiliating one's self in front of superiors you've never even met than with three and a half hours of Peter O'Toole? (sp) Yes, I am planning to watch Lawrence of Arabia with my dad, after a delicious meal yet to be determined (but including the rest of the peach & blackberry sauce pavlova we had tonight). I also plan on pointing out all the racist bits, partly as a trip down anthropological memory lane, and partly just to annoy dad. I think we'll last at least thru first half (which is my favorite anyway, although I realize the second is important blah blah)
So: Moral is, it will all be over soon. Then I won't have to worry~ the weekend is here!
In other news my Hindi studies are progressing, and I wrote my first 'letters' today, which was fun and surprisingly easy. It does get a whole lot more complicated of course, but I'm enjoying it and that's what's important. I also rented "Chalo Hindi Bolay" from the library, a kid's movie which has got to be the lowest budget thing I've seen in a long time. Lots of bad filler, like Warhol-esque psychedelic splitscreen views of the flailing mascot-elephant that was featured on the cover.
Anyway, time for bed. Wish me luck (again)!

...like, really

I don't know about you, but I was confused. I mean, who is this "Jesus" guy that keeps popping up in purple spandex? Luckily found this helpful website:
http://www.whoisjesus-really.com/

"fight club"

OK Nithya (& co), so, I did a basic google search and came up with this site:
http://twitchfilm.net/archives/004962.html
which lists trailers for the Indian version of "Fight Club". Yes, it has singing, dancing, costume changes, and sweaty fighting men.
It also has a dance number featuring lyrics: "go go go go fight club, you gotta go, fight club, go go go go, fight club."
You need to check out the last two songs, links under the pic.
<3 M

on "No Reservations" and my immense contempt

So, in response to Rachele's comment, which made me quite happy because it totally proved how well she does know me, I will describe my reaction to seeing the advertisements for the film, which I will under no circumstances PAY to see.
OK so if you haven't seen the trailer, you can see it here:
http://www.apple.com/trailers/wb/noreservations/
It has Catherine Zeta-Jones and Aaron Eckhardt, who was in "thank you for smoking" which I really enjoyed. In fact, I almost bought that film the other day because I found it packaged with "Sideways", another one those middle aged films I tend to enjoy. It was only 8~ something for both of them! but it was at Mall-Wart... Yeah. I thought "Why the hell is this indie, anti-establishment double-dose for sale at WAL MART?!? Oh, THAT must be why it's eight bucks..."

Anyway, now that you've viewed the trailer, (hint: do it now) you'll see that there are many reasons I might be interested in this film. A warmhearted story, hot food & sex combination, even a bald, male shrink! Now, immediately, is there anything you notice that might piss me off? OH, right. the TITLE. Blatantly stolen from Anthony Bourdain's TV show, "No Reservations". I hope to god they got royalties off that.

Beyond that, I doubt many of you are aware of another, 'similar' film. Allow me to present "Mostly Martha", a german film that was apparently POORLY marketed in the US, at least by the looks of this trailer.
http://www.paramountvantage.com/martha/martha_trailer_320x180.mov
Please ignore the horrid music and voiceover, which is NOT a component of the actual film. Notice any similarities?

Edit: OK, I just watched the trailer I linked, which is significantly longer than the ones I've seen, and makes it even more obvious that this movie is a total, apparently SCENE BY SCENE rip-off.

Perhaps the plot, appearance of actors, sets, and even scene by scene matchups, including the 'rare enough' steak presentation. I think it's clear even from the short clips given that the acting is far superior in Mostly Martha-- although the crappy trailer presentation for english audiences is something you may have to look past to see it. Even the steak scene is overplayed by Zeta-Jones, and she certainly doesn't capture half the neuroticism portrayed by the beautiful Martina Gedeck. And dont take my word for it, look at the reviews. Apparently it got panned. Check rotten tomatoes.

So, needless to say, I was suspicious when I saw the first trailer on TV for the 'reservations' film. I could tell from that shorter one that the basic plot was similar, and what burned me was not that it was possibly a remake, but that NO CREDIT or affiliation was given to the original, from which they had clearly stolen their ideas. Looking at their website, there is no indication that it is a remake. In only one of the reviews I have read did I see that it was a remake. Thankfully wikipedia has cited the original at the beginning ofo their article.
The second time I saw a trailer, it included the hysterical 'rare steak' scene. This time, I got out of my chair and yelled at the screen. Ripping off, BLATANTLY, one of my favorite movies AND giving absolutely NO indication or credit... yeah I was pissed.
I saw several reviews that included NO MENTION of a previous film, or indicating it wasn't in the least bit original, and that was probably because they DIDN'T KNOW because the distributor made NO ATTEMPT to give credit.
Finally last week I saw a review printed in the local paper that mentioned Mostly Martha in passing, but again I saw the trailer two days ago and could not help myself yelling at the TV.
So YES Rachele, I was pissed. I haven't felt this righteously pretentious in a long time.
No post tonight, so enjoy the rant.
Love yas,
-Mer

& the Ecstasy

I don't care what happened today, I just had a blissfully amazing Bourdain Experience. Sometimes an episode of No Reservations is just what you need to shift gears. When Anthony has a transcendent experience, I have a transcendent experience. When his cynicism softens, so does that near-constant lump in my throat. TV as therapy, spirituality, and entertainment- yay!
Let's see-- to answer some questions I'll expand a bit.
First, I don't have any current, concrete plans to go to India. Timetable: before age thirty. I don't want to go totally unprepared, although maybe that would even be better now that I think of it... but I'm no impulsive Claire, so I won't go through with that non-plan.
Brian, second up, really is an anti-climax... There is a meandering, drunken, and awkward if friendly history that doesn't involve groping or, to my recollection, even full-body hugging. Call me sometime and I'll tell you more if you're interested, but there isn't much to tell.
Hmm, otherwise, let's see. Again, I have been forgetting what seem like innumerable tidbits that I've mentally earmarked throughout the day to include here. Apologies for what you aren't hearing. It was good, I swear.
One thing; I have been meditating before I go to bed. Now, before you hardcore guys jump all over me, I know that this is a cardinal no-no. Meditation is supposed to be an alert state where one is fully aware of their surroundings (or so i hear), and going to sleep is what you are always trying to avoid. But, in class, they said that we should practice starting in whatever way was easiest for us, and lately I seem to have gotten relatively good (for me) at commanding relaxation from my body, if not mind, at this time in the day. This makes going to sleep easier and may or may not have contributed to some good dream recall as of late.
Anyway, going to try to carry over the episode high this night-- hopefully looking forward to a relaxing day tomorrow- and I know it will at least be one where I will get out of the house. No promises on a post tomorrow night, since I'll likely be at Mom's. Back afterwards though. She's getting ready for school and will be in super-frantic mode after she is officially 'back' Wednesday.
Man is it going to be trippy when everyone else goes back and I don't.

job anxiety

AAAAUGH my references aren't answering apparently... that's what happens with researchers I guess.

Nervous/lazy

hoping for a job offer tomorrow... not expecting one but really hoping.
Didn't do anything today, made a list of things to do tomorrow to keep me busy (and I will be) and then sat on the back porch and read the 100 or so odd page 'general intro' of "The Rough Guide to India." It was very fun to read, smooth going and informative. Lots of times travel books, while not poorly written, read more like lists or stiff descriptions. This guide seems to be more colloquial in tone and has a feeling of helpfulness because of that, and an attention to detail. That is so far, anyway. Haven't really gotten into the 'area' sections yet. Delhi is up first. I may skip ahead to Tamil Nadu next, which they are billing as an attractive area to visit.
It's getting me pumped up, I'd like to go during a festival for sure. Esp. Durga Puja or Diwali. And perhaps take yoga or meditation classes-- although some they described are more like boot camps than instruction. And I remembered a must that I might have overlooked, Ayurvedic medicine. Which includes massage, although that would not necessarily be a component. Any other local healing I would also of course have to partake of/in/whatever. Holi is also in a good time of year weatherwise it seems... although I could be remembering the chart wrong.
Sounds like it might be good to go with a 'husband' though to avoid annoying gawking men... you know, we're all white western whores apparently. Traveling alone, what were we thinking? Basically the book confirmed what Nithya was telling me. I mean, I'm still not necessarily afraid of being assaulted or anything, but I'd really rather not be groped or leered at or have random guys ask me 'how sex in america is'.
Maybe I'll enlist someone who wouldn't be afraid to get in a barfight over me, say... Brian. He's impulsive enough to scare off even the most belligerent twentysomething train traveler. Which amusingly reminds me, I had a dream about making out with him last night. It was hot in the dream-- but it's NEVER GOING TO HAPPEN. haha.
and on THAT somewhat creepy note, time to make some more dreams. 'Night.

Jealous

"I am not one of those weak-spirited, sappy Americans who want to be liked by all the people around them.I don’t care if people hate my guts; I assume most of them do. The important question is whether they are in a position to do anything about it. My affections, being concentrated over a few people, are not spread all over Hell in a vile attempt to placate sulky, worthless shits."

-William S. Burroughs, or so says WikiQuote

Death

So, this past week Grandma has been watching our aunt's dog next door. Lori is very old and arthritic, and her body is basically riddled with cancerous lumps. She's survived a very long time since she was diagnosed. We've been letting her inside a lot since it has been so very hot around here. Still, her breathing last night and this morning was very labored, and she refused to eat or get up. So we took her to the vet, and found that the lymphoma has spread to her lungs, which are just totally full of a clouded, speckled mass on the X=ray. Poor dog. Anyway, they got back today, and she's on prednisone which hopefully will help her breathe. But soon, and sooner if the medicine doesn't work, she'll be in too much pain and they'll put her down.
So I got to wondering about all this, and how it would effect my cousin. She's been the family pet since before he was born, and in recent years he's gotten really into animals~ even talking about becoming a vegetarian. And growing his hair long. But his mom is skeptical about that one. I was thinking about what I would tell him if I were his parent. Well, I really didn't have to think, I would say something like "Well, Lori is going to die. Everything, everyone dies." and then I'd have to make a judgement call about adding "even we'll die, you and I" although I probably would at some point. That's just how it works, and maybe it's not worth even considering whether it's fair or unfair or not. Or if there is a reason or afterlife.
Anyway, in an uncharachtaristic turn of positive thinking, I first started to imagine and 'talk' to him about how eventually even the earth will be destroyed, the sun, quite possibly the universe as we know it (who knows, right?) But that all begs the question, Why the heck is there anything here in the first place? I mean it seems much more probable that there woudl be absolutely nothing in existence... no space no nothing. Why the hell is there anything at all? So then I thought, that it was pretty cool. Athiest' sense of wonder, I suppose. Sometimes things just click, even if they're not original or even new to you, they just seem that way. It was nice.
Also burned some nice incense tonight on the back porch. The squishy stick kind, and some sortof-nag-champa. And a delicious dinner of fresh tomatoes, fancy cheeses, french batard and my homemade fried okra with green chili powder seasoning.
More dreams of the same feel as last two nights, although I got woken up abruptly this morning to care for the dog & go to the vet, so I don't remember them.
I've also been appreciating increased contact with friends, which seems to have picked up for no particular reason, which is really kindof nice.
I'm hoping the peaches will be ripe to make pavlova tomorrow, and that things begin settling around here. I think they've alredy started.

Trains

Dreamed about trains last night. Found online scrabble and can't stop. Well, I just did-- but sleep is kindof necessary I guess. No big plans this weekend. the usual I guess. I hope to hear about my one job Monday, ::crossing my fingers::.
I know there was more I wanted to say but I have been trying to remember since dinner and can't. Oh well. next time.
-M

Nostalgia

Scrabble, Claire & Karine, All the gang that I haven't seen in much too much too long.
AND I am missing the adults in my life. My mom, had a dream about the infamous bald Jewish K. last night, which included both my parents. I wish I remembered more, but I do recall there was something of a group hug at the end. How cliche.
Anyway, I spent much of today preparing/sending a package to Claire, which I hope she gets. I also collected some things to send Karine, but as I did with Claire, I think I'll wait a bit til she's settled in. Also have an urge to write... poems and such~~ it's been a while.

Hope everybody is doing ok. drop me a line.

Spitting

Y'know how sometimes jealousy just sneaks up and stabs you? Well I do not get seriously jealous very often, usually just good ol' pining. But sometimes it just comes out of nowhere and smacks you. Better I recognize it for what it is though, rather than just assume I'm pissed for no reason or something.
Questions of possession or being possessed, wanting or maybe more accurately being wanted.
I am rather silly. good to laugh at onesself, I suppose.
Let's see... a productive day. Hoping to have a good one tomorrow as well. Going to finish filling a package for Claire, and write a letter to Karine.
Exciting things today included paying bills, burning food in the oven, burning incense in a weird squishy stick form that I highly suspect contains animal dung of some sort, getting a wasp up my skirt (kindof like a bee in my bonnet, but rather more drastic), finding some nice inexpensive clothing in a closing store,
Tomorrow: I'll look the shop tomorrow & likely buy at least something while I wait for photos to develop next door. Also, first pavlova all year will be made. Peaches & blackberry sauce (we just found some leftover sauce this evening.) Perhaps an application for LE's neck of the woods. Minimal outdoor work, but I need to check on the string beans at least. Near record temps again, ugh. Oh, and making eggplant parmigiana for dinner, with tabbuleh as a side. Tomatoes are finally in, and I'm rolling in 'em. Now, when I say they're in, I don't mean OUR tomatoes, but rather everyone elses, so... we have plenty. Same with cukes.
Augh, anyway... I know I'm forgetting something interesting but I just can't think of it. Been one of those days of self-doubt I guess. It'll pass. Just like that gallstone of yours. But not without excruciating pain. Yay!
'night y'all.

More job stuff

Another day, another drive, another interview.
It went OK, but only OK.

In other news, had a delicious 'lunch' of frozen peanut-butter/chocolate custard, which was really chocolate with chunks of peanuts in it. yum!
It also appears that I actually HAVE lost a little weight, as I have worn a black skirt that I bought for interviewing the last two days, which used to be a bit tight but is now comfy.
Also drove some back roads today with my Miles Davis tape in the car, thoroughly enjoyable time. I'm a bit burnt out on my Nusrat Fateh Ali Khan tape though. It's really good but I listened to it nonstop, almost eight hours or more so... time to let it rest a bit. I also got some incense so maybe I'll burn that tomorrow, since it looks like I'll have some time to myself for a while. I feel like I've been going nonstop for a while now. Not breakneck speed, but no time to do chores like clean my room. Hopefully that will get done tomorrow along with the applications I'm doing and other chores that have fallen by the wayside.
Right now I'm listening to the "whatever" nineties mix and it's pretty awesome. "you gotta be" bad, bold, wiser... just came on shuffle and it brought me back.
Oh God, are we that old that things 'bring us back' to another time? Soon there will be Vanilla Ice and Hansen on late-nite TV pedaling a compilation of 'greatest hits'... well, there already is one, that's what I'm listening to. All is lost.

Hey, at least I didn't pay shipping.

"oh God, hallelujah"

So, you know how I'm always saying that Jerry Fallwell and Pat Robertson are (well, were at this point) lovers? Wild evangelical lovers, that is. Apparently I wasn't the only one with that suspicion.

http://youtube.com/watch?v=DAj9xnfDQa8

Nithya sent it to me. :d dalishusly true.

In other news, my interview today went really well, turns out it would pay better than I anticipated. I hope *hope* my references and stuff check out and I can get the job. Anyway...
Another interview tomorrow if not and yet another interview request. I don't know why everyone decided "yeah, we might not have looked at your application for a month, which might have caused you to apply like twenty places, but now we want you for an interview." all of a sudden. When it rains it pours I suppose.

In other news, thoroughly enjoyed my weekend, met some friend's boyfriends, felt momentarily nostalgic for manflesh until I realized I am really quite happy on my own. Because I really am, actually. :)

As long as I can watch evangelical cartoon porn, that is. That's some strong stuff.

Wish me luck!

sniff

This movie gets me every time:
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0112870/
oh Simran & Raj, hug once more for meeee.

Oooh, shiny!

so maybe now i can compete with Ben's profile pictures... not that I want to start an out-awesomeing war with him in the art dep't, because we all know he'd win.
::shout out:: right ladies?
"right"
anyway please visit blog-o-rifficness:
http://anonymousworks.blogspot.com/

I love those mask thingies. (ps if this description lets you know I only looked at the pictured and did not read at all, so be it.)

Yeah, yeah

So, I've been thinking. I know it's a lot of posts for one day, but I wanted to get this down even if it is overly self-indulgent. (that IS a warning, squeamish readers)
So I've been doing a lot of manual labour (too much time to think) and been listening to this tape of "New Dimensions" from like 1995 that I found in the basement that talks about Myth and 'following your bliss' and shit like that. Anyway so this guy read a poem " I am the rest between two notes" and talked about how human existence was like this because we are always searching and never finding answers, stuck between the question and answer, and when something IS answered (which rarely happens) it is answered with another question. And then I was reading about meditation and cyclic existence and suffering, and thinking about what I consider the inherent pain in life-- the pain that surfaces whenever you think about and consider something deeply-- perhaps being the pain of that cyclic existence (inevitable death/end etc) and how that is coupled with pleasure, since the fear of the end of something is proportional with the pleasure of that experience. For example, if, while eating the world's last peach, I pause and consider how delicious it is, I might start crying, because it is so tasty and it will soon be gone. So everything pleasurable is unpleasurable because of our desire for pleasure and the reality of it's eventual end, and we are left at any given moment as the rest between those two notes.
So the Buddhists would say we should just up and stop desiring things and all this will stop. Well, that's not so easy. And I'm sure that's not all there is to it. But at the very least that's probably not a very realistic goal for most of us. "stop liking peaches, dammit!" "uh, what?" "realize the pain they are causing you and stop liking them" "but they are so tasty."
yeah ok, I'm going to stop now.

ohm ah hum / om a ng

Where are they now?

http://www.cameronjohnson.com/index.htm

believe it or not, I knew this kid in high school. Biology and chemistry class.
To his credit, I didn't/don't hate him. Which is really something, considering I hated most of the people he hung out with. I think maybe all the money actually made him MORE down to earth. I guess it's a lot for a young kid to handle.
Anyway, night kiddos!

YAY!

going to NoVa Saturday! Let me know if you are around and we can meet up Sat/Sun. Staying with Nithya Sat. Night.
<3 M

SO

so I had a good time hanging out with the kitties, got a lot of busywork done, and have two more interviews for next week. I'm also hoping to visit friends this weekend ::fingers crossed:: so ANSWER MY MESSAGES please :D
Things are going otherwise well/slow... heavy outdoor chores have left me with zero weight loss but a killer farmer's tan (watch out, eligible bachelors). Speaking of eligible bachelors, apparently the untapped market of rural men entirely consists of, brace yourselves, young laborers and grandsons of the infamous "Ladies" aka "sexy sassies". Watch out, this eligible chica is coming to a trade show or county fair near you.
And your grandma promised me a date. So be prepared to buy the cotton candy.

Gardening is going... well... slowly. Still no tomatoes, no squash.. only dill really. And a pepper or two. I don't know what happened this year but it's definitely something I hope not to repeat.

In the realm of strange dreams, I had one the other night where I was living in this big spanish looking house/compound with an extended family, and there was a war between our side and another group, who had brighter colored uniforms. (in retrospect, hadn't they seen that movie about the alamo, where the Spaniards wore those tall hats with concentric circles on them as they climbed ladders to storm the compound? Didn't they ever do target practice? Or were they just super cocky...)
Anyway, bad films aside, at one point the enemy was mounting a huge raid at which we were all surely going to die, at which point I realized "Hell no! I don't have to go out there and get killed for no reason, why the heck was i fighting in the first place?!" and then I resolved to run in the opposite direction as soon as possible.
Quite sensible of dream-me, I thought.