warning: pretty damn whiny post follows. those of you who want to avoid, avoid.
the title pretty much tells it all. We're getting older, fast. And the thought of being thirty, soon, sickens me. I mean, that means I'm going to be dead soon, and I don't even barely have my shit together! Hell I would have to think about it a long time to be able to say that I even enjoy life right now. Clearly my standards are too high.
I had the world's most shit-tacular day and I don't even want to talk about what actually happened. Let's just say I'm fucking myself by being a passive little bitch who is completely and totally insecure. I don't think I'm being a bitch per say but more like really annoying to everyone around me. I feel like I should be getting more secure but really my paranoia just seems to increase. I don't know or seem to forget what seem like basic functional things that should be clear. Nothing earth-shattering, it just makes me sound like an idiot when I know I'm not. I don't know why I even care what other people think. I guess I like them.
Anyway, my conclusion today was that you never get over something (like, in this example, fucking yourself [figuratively speaking of course]) unless you DO it, so I'll just keep trucking until this phase passes. I mean, I'm annoying MYSELF with my constant whining. I guess that's good in a way. Maybe I'll stop .
Also, living with mom is killing my self-esteem and feeding my work issues which in turn feed
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Awww, I'm sorry you had a shit day. If it makes you feel any better, I'm going to be 25 soon. Which is exactly HALFWAY to 30. I think moving out will improve your outlook significantly. Any luck? If not, you could move to NOVA and live with me. =) (I realized I hadn't bugged you about that recently.)
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